Look, the world has always had its absurdities. But as with coincidences, or synchronicities, it's when they pile up on top of each other that your pineal gland begins to tingle and you get the sense that you're the target of a cosmic
joke.
So this company Epik, which apparently hosts a bunch of right wing sites other hosts wouldn't, just got hacked by Anonymous. I say "right wing sites" but in fairness to "the right" generally, I don't know what to call the screwhead axis
of The Proud Boys, 8Chan, QAnon, and these other bizarre cults that have arisen
in recent years. "The Right" used to be the National Review and maybe the Telegraph or something. You could be forgiven for thinking someone had slipped
some DMT into your G&T, watching the world in recent years.
El Reg has the story:
https://www.theregister.com/2021/09/30/anonymous_second_epik_dump/
OK, so, whatever, another day another leak, another dump. I mean in this case they got bootable disk image full of SSH and API keys.
I had forgotten about all of this, forced as I have been to forcibly and
with great determination to ignore politics after a Political Science degree, years of being tangentially involved in party politics, and HAVING A WHOLE BUNCH OF HALF-ASSED OPINIONS I wish I could take back on account of having Dunning-Krugered myself into a corner of shame and ignominy when I came to realize that not only were vast numbers of people on my side full of shit,
but so was I.
I mean, I knew the opposition was full of shit. Everyone knows the opposition is full of shit. I mean, hell, consider your own politics for a minute. Now consider people on the other side: full of shit, those guys, right?
But knowing how full of shit you yourself are, well.
I've retired.
And so I thought I might give this a miss except...
Remember how I started all of this talking about how the universe is laughing at us? Well, it is mocking *me* personally, pushing my buttons like me, on crack, in a 1960s-era datacenter (because believe me I'd be like a Tasmanian Devil in there with the button pushing -- too bad I wasn't at Bletchley Park, because I've seen those ENIGMA machines and enough caffeine and I'd brute
force the hell out of it, infinite-monkeys wise. "Hey, stop pushing all those buttons!" they'd say. And I'd be all, "No.")
Here's my problem:
The CEO of Epik's name is ROB MONSTER.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZ9MFts28XI&lc=UgzhE63LoInoN-w9OgB4AaABAg
This cannot be real.
eh.
https://www.dailydot.com/debug/anonymous-new-epik-leak/
Epik CEO Rob Monster, who did not respond to requests for comment from the
Daily Dot, would go on to hold a more than four hour long live video conference
online to address the initial hack. The meeting would see Monster break out into prayer numerous times, make attempts to vanquish demons, and warn viewers that their hard drives could burst into flames due to the hacked data.
Reality has become a ludicrous B-movie, which are fine and good when it's a movie. Like watching Ash get housed in The Evil Dead films is great fun when you're on the couch but imagine that's real and you're Ash.
Increasingly, things are moving in this direction, like a distant storm bearing
down on us. Or me. Trying not to involve you all in this. THE UNIVERSE IS LISTENING.
...alright! Heavenly Father, Abba Father, Lord, we come to you in the name
of your Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. And we pray in the Spirit, Lord, take authority at this time over the demons and evil spirits, agents of Satan, all spiritual wickedness that is at work. We bind all demons, all agents of Satan.
We make our curses in Jesus's name, to clear all magick, all voodoo, all witchcraft be null and void without effect. If You would take authority, Lord,
at this time that whatever demon engaged in this nonsense work stops immediately. That You would be glorified, Lord, that we have this opportunity...
NO REALLY:
https://youtu.be/aZ9MFts28XI?t=9910
It goes on:
So there's somebody here, Hellbat, he's got an attitude issue. He says
"after you log off tonight, demonic spirits will enter your home." Heavenly Father, Abba Father, I declare in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ that that will not happen. I bind all demons and all evil spirits, all agents of Satan in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Take authority over it and send them to the abuss, if they were to come so far. And give You all the glory. Yeah. My God, my God, my God is mighty. He is in you and He is in me.
https://youtu.be/aZ9MFts28XI?t=11601
From El Reg:
That document dump was shared around the internet and was widely assessed as
authentic. At least one Epik customer identified in the leaked files -- a Florida estate agent -- was fired as a result of the leak; it emerged he had tried to register domains such as theholocaustisfake.com via the web biz.
Because of course a Florida estate agent would do that in his free time because
in 2021, this is what people do as a hobby.
And I'm telling you, there were curses put on these datasets, and not out of
spite. I'm just saying that it was done. I'm just giving you the heads up. There are curses. Laptops will burn. Hard drives will burn.
--- Mystic BBS v1.12 A47 2021/09/24 (Linux/64)
* Origin: Shipwrecks & Shibboleths [San Francisco, CA - USA] (1337:3/152)