Do we know what we want in a romantic partner? No more than a random
stranger would

Date:
July 6, 2020
Source:
University of California - Davis
Summary:
New research suggests that people's ideal partner preferences do
not reflect any unique personal insight.



FULL STORY ==========================================================================
We all can describe our ideal partner. Perhaps they are funny, attractive
and inquisitive. Or maybe they are down-to-earth, intelligent and
thoughtful. But do we actually have special insight into ourselves,
or are we just describing positive qualities that everyone likes?

==========================================================================
New research coming out of the University of California, Davis,
suggests that people's ideal partner preferences do not reflect any
unique personal insight.

The paper, "Negligible Evidence That People Desire Partners Who Uniquely
Fit Their Ideals," was published last week in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.

"The people in our study could very easily list their top three attributes
in an ideal partner," noted Jehan Sparks, former UC Davis doctoral student
and lead author of the study. "We wanted to see whether those top three attributes really mattered for the person who listed them. As it turns
out, they didn't." In the research, more than 700 participants nominated
their top three ideals in a romantic partner -- attributes like funny, attractive or inquisitive. Then they reported their romantic desire for
a series of people they knew personally: Some were blind date partners,
others were romantic partners, and others were friends.

Participants experienced more romantic desire to the extent that these
personal acquaintances possessed the top three attributes. If Vanessa
listed funny, attractive and inquisitive, she experienced more desire
for partners who were funny, attractive and inquisitive.

"On the surface, this looks promising," notes Paul Eastwick, a professor
in the UC Davis Department of Psychology and co-author.



==========================================================================
"You say you want these three attributes, and you like the people who
possess those attributes. But the story doesn't end there." -- Professor
Paul Eastwick, UC Davis What would a stranger say? The researchers
included a twist: Each participant also considered the extent to which the
same personal acquaintances possessed three attributes nominated by some
other random person in the study. For example, if Kris listed down-to-
earth, intelligent and thoughtful as her own top three attributes, Vanessa
also experienced more desire for acquaintances who were down-to-earth, intelligent and thoughtful.

"So in the end, we want partners who have positive qualities," said
Sparks, "but the qualities you specifically list do not actually have
special predictive power for you." The authors take these findings to
mean that people don't have special insight into what they personally
want in a partner.

Eastwick compared it to ordering food at a restaurant. "Why do we order
off the menu for ourselves? Because it seems obvious that I will like
what I get to pick. Our findings suggest that, in the romantic domain,
you might as well let a random stranger order for you -- you're just as
likely to end up liking what you get." The findings have implications
for the way people approach online dating.

People commonly spend many hours perusing online dating profiles in
the search of someone who specifically matches their ideals. Sparks and colleagues' research suggests that this effort may be misplaced.

"It's really easy to spend time hunting around online for someone who
seems to match your ideals," notes Sparks. "But our research suggests an alternative approach: Don't be too picky ahead of time about whether a
partner matches your ideals on paper. Or, even better, let your friends
pick your dates for you."

========================================================================== Story Source: Materials provided by
University_of_California_-_Davis. Original written by Karen
Nikos-Rose. Note: Content may be edited for style and length.


========================================================================== Journal Reference:
1. Jehan Sparks, Christine Daly, Brian M. Wilkey, Daniel C. Molden,
Eli J.

Finkel, Paul W. Eastwick. Negligible evidence that people desire
partners who uniquely fit their ideals. Journal of Experimental
Social Psychology, 2020; 90: 103968 DOI: 10.1016/j.jesp.2020.103968 ==========================================================================

Link to news story: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/07/200706173449.htm

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